A weblog of periodic insights from a former know-it-all Infantry Officer


One for justice and one for sport
Posted by Schmedlap at: 09:57 AM on 10 MAR 10 | Comments (10) | Reply to this post

General Tso versus Colonel Sanders

The former has wrought a vengeance more menacing than Montezuma, in the form of a chicken T-rations that the Army feeds to its Soldiers for reasons that defy explanation. Given how cheaply Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe is mass produced, you’d think we could find a way to push it to the patrol bases.

Robert Gates versus Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Crazy Mahmoud was talking shit this week in Afghanistan. That guy has never been known for making even-keeled statements, but to talk to shit to Bob Gates is foolhardy even by Persian standards. The things that people say about Chuck Norris are actually true about Bob Gates. I am surprised that Gates has allowed Mahmoud to continue living.

Posted by Schmedlap at: 09:57 AM on 10 MAR 10 | Permalink | Comments (10) | Reply to this post

bayonet

1. ADTS says, in response to the original post:

Schmedlap:

No giant myself, I think a Ahmadinejab-Gates contest might be one of the few (physical) contests in which the vertically-challenged Gates might prevail. (Yes, I know, I know, it's not size that counts in a fight.)

ADTS

2. Schmedlap says, in response to ADTS:

The few???
Name one person who could last more than 2 seconds in a fight with Gates.
3. ADTS says, in response to Schmedlap:

Chuck Norris himself?

ADTS

4. Schmedlap says, in response to ADTS:

If what they say about Chuck Norris is correct (and I mean every bit of it), then a fight between Gates and Norris would probably last around 5 seconds or so before Gates tears out Norris's still-beating heart and shows it to him before he loses consciousness. So, I'll concede that you might be right.
5. Madhu says, in response to the original post:
Schmedlap has a massive man-crush

...on Gates, ADTS. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Actually, I have to admit, he's pretty effin' cool. And I never like anybody in public life EVER.
6. Schmedlap says, in response to Madhu:

We don't even have the means to weight Gates's brain because it is so massive that its gravitational field skews the reading of the scale.
7. Schmedlap says, in response to the original post:

... but I see that nobody is willing to stand up for General Tso. Usually there is at least one nut in the blogosphere willing to defend the indefensible. GEN Tso may very well be the supervillain who is "worse than Hitler."
8. ADTS says, in response to Schmedlap:

Schmedlap:

I think you should reserve the domain name, "Robert Gates Brain Facts" (or something to that effect). :)

ADTS

9. says, in response to the original post:

Schmedlap et al:

Can you achieve this?

1. Go to google 2. Type in "where is Robert Gates" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" option and 3. Achieve the same results as "Where is Chuck Norris"

ADTS


That's because Robert Gates doesn't need hype. Gates versus a tag team of Chuck Norris and Google would still be a lopsided Gates victory.
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