General Tso versus Colonel Sanders

The former has wrought a vengeance more menacing than Montezuma, in the form of a chicken T-rations that the Army feeds to its Soldiers for reasons that defy explanation. Given how cheaply Colonel Sanders’ secret recipe is mass produced, you’d think we could find a way to push it to the patrol bases.

Robert Gates versus Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Crazy Mahmoud was talking shit this week in Afghanistan. That guy has never been known for making even-keeled statements, but to talk to shit to Bob Gates is foolhardy even by Persian standards. The things that people say about Chuck Norris are actually true about Bob Gates. I am surprised that Gates has allowed Mahmoud to continue living.